"When You're a SLUH Boy"

Now that it's been a year and a day since good old Senior Follies, I thought that it would be fun to revisit the parody song I wrote for the show "When You're a SLUH Boy." Ever since I saw The Addams Family at The Muny in the summer of 2014, the idea of incorporating one of its songs in Follies was always in the back of my mind. It wasn't until seeing the show again in the spring at Notre Dame High School did I finally commit to it. "When You're an Addams" was my default pick to adapt as it was my favorite song from the show. (If I had to pick a second, it would be "Full Disclosure".)

When writing, my key focus was always the key line "When You're an Addams." I knew that if I could find a suitable SLUH replacement, I could write the rest easily. My early attempts focused around the English department. The story would be that a new teacher was joining the department and everyone was explaining what it meant to be a SLUH English teacher. Ultimately I could never find a satisfying hook. I did most of this brainstorming while bringing in carts at Dierbergs, typically at night when the lot was empty and I didn't have to focus on cars driving around as much.

Only after settling on "When You're a SLUH Boy" did I sit down and actually start writing. Most of the lyrics were cranked out in one afternoon. I submitted the song on the last possible day and found out that it was in the show for sure the next day.

Seeing the whole thing come together was an absolute blast. Choral and dance practices were a joy. I was especially happy that I was able to perform in the number myself. It was a thrill from beginning to end and I'm so thankful for everyone who helped bring it together!

Below is the extended version of the lyrics which features an additional section that was cut from the show due to time. I hope you enjoy!

"When You're a SLUH Boy"
Lyrics by: David Burke
Edited with the help of: Luke Barrale
Based on "When You're An Addams" Music and Lyrics by Andrew Lippa

Huge thanks to everyone who helped to make this crazy idea I had over the summer a reality. Nothing quite like seeing it live on stage with a real cast and audience. You all are the best. (Also please note that this is the extended edition of the song featuring lyrics cut from Follies.)

(Spoken:)
Dr. Moran: Welcome everyone, to the first official meeting of the SLUH class of 2019. I am Dr. Moran, the principal of SLUH. It is fantastic to finally have you all with us. After interviews, countless pages of applications, and a hefty down payment, you young men are finally SLUH boys. It is a title held with great prestige, but one that also brings with it a lot of responsibility. For example...

(Sung:)
DM: When you're a SLUH boy,
We think you're really gonna like it.
When you're a SLUH boy,
You lead a different sort of life.

You'll have to learn to change your former ways.
School starts at seven-fifty every day!

That's the way,
When you're a SLUH boy,
You're gonna make a great alumni.
When you're a SLUH boy,
You will succeed on ACTs.

Who cares about your grade school days
And what they mean to you?
When you're a SLUH boy,
You'll do what SLUH boys always do.

Student 1: When you're a SLUH boy,
You're gonna need to buy an iPad.

Student 2: When you're a SLUH boy,
You’ll find you’re going one to one.

(Spoken:)
DM: It's the way of the future!

Students 1 & 2: You really can’t agree with all this stuff.
In terms of iPads, we have had enough.

Student 3: When you're a SLUH boy,
You're gonna take some boring classes.

Student 4: When you're a SLUH boy,
You have an overbearing load!

Students 1-4: Just be prepared,
And soon you'll see,
That life here's not so hot.

When you're a SLUH boy,

Student 1: You've got to learn an awful
(Beat)
Lot.

(CUT BEGINS)

Students: So be prepared, for this will be you.
All we tell you is oh so true.
Come next August you all will see,
your life won't be the same!
Despite the fact that this sounds like doom,
and we've scared all of you in this room,
your dreams destroyed with one big boom,
we know that you will stay!

DM: (Spoken) No! Not today! This is still my show!
(Sung) Stop! Don't believe them!
Please don't believe them!
Everything is fine here!
Complaints about branding,
are still outstanding,
there is nothing to fear!
Such an insane bunch,
least that is my hunch,
things aren't all that bad here!
Now, I was saying,
about the paying,
how will you fund this year?

(CUT ENDS)

Student 3: DANCE BREAK!

Students: When you're a SLUH boy,
(That's right, when you're a SLUH boy)
To the school you have a duty.
(That's right, when you're a SLUH boy)
When you're a SLUH boy,
You're obligated to your class!

It's SLU High first,
And SLU High last,
All others by and by!
When you're a SLUH boy,
You are a pretty awesome guy.

When you're a SLUH boy,
You're one of us for your whole life!